From Surviving to Thriving

Rebecca and I had just put the twins down.  I moved on to a stack of dishes and she took Andrew up to sheet street and pillow alley.  As I pulled my hands from the greasy dish water for the last time tonight I thought of what was next.  There are some articles in a few magazines I have been wanting to read...But they will have to wait.  It hit me, "Hoeben, get out there and ski."

Night skiing is about the only option these days.  Kids and work seem to occupy most of the daylight hours.  A little darkness never stopped me before.  A quick text to Mo-T and we were on our way.  Mo-T happens to be a co-worker and friend, she lives here at camp and she is the only one crazy enough to join me on my night-time excursions to the ski trails.  As a brief side bar, Mo-T has plans to join a religious order this fall.  She will serve here one more summer and then join the Sisters of St. Francis of the Martyr St. George She has a great blog called Giving is Habit Forming.  Check out her story, it's a good one. 

Given the above freezing days and the below freezing nights, the trails were quite "firm" this evening.  Translation: Icy!  It made for an exciting ski. Under the First Quarter moon there were some substantial shadows cast on the snow.  On previous night skis, we have had less moonlight which actually made things a bit easier.  The shadows cast this evening played some serious tricks on my eyes, which kept it lively.  

There is something very peaceful about the nighttime in the winter.  The quiet of it all at the end of day is refreshing.  I skied along thinking back to the words of a friend this past weekend.  While at a day-long men's retreat on Saturday I was talking with him about my current state.  He gave me some words which seem to explain exactly where I am at right now.  As we spoke of the previous year and all that it meant he said, "well, you've got to go from surviving to thriving and that is difficult."  Naming it helps me.   That is where I am at, somewhere on the road between surviving this ordeal and trying to thrive again.  There is a spectrum, and although we have moved past pure survival mode, I can assure you neither Rebecca nor I feel as though we are yet thriving.  Patience...

All along, nothing on this journey has gone how I would've imagined.  I don't suppose I ever imagined much but it is yet again a wonderful reminder that I am not in charge.  God's time, not my own.  As I logged in to blogger this morning(it's now, 4:45am, a few days later than when I began this post) I was checking out the feed of recently updated blogs.  This one  caught my eye.  I love where she quotes the Lord talking about the trusting acceptance of our trials because it is through that that we find life.  Powerful stuff.

At this risk of posting a non-coherent blog I am going to hit the publish button now.  I have kept you all waiting long enough.  Thanks for sticking with me on this one.  I hope you can "see" thriving soon! Although, it may take longer than expected.