Bat Man

We’ve been having some struggles lately with sleeping babies, no, let me say sleeping children. The nights have been rough. Our crazy schedule and lack of routine surely plays a role but after much commotion and juggling of rooms and cribs I think we are finally starting to settle in around here. Actually the last few days have been fairly good for Mary and Joshua but now that we have that puzzle solved Andrew has woken up the last few nights with a fever. Except last night, it was not until 5am that we heard a noise from any of our sleeping babes and I am not even sure we would’ve then had there not been some serious commotion in the household.

The first wake up of the night came for Rebecca and I around 2am with the pleasant audible warning of the trusty weather radio alerting me to the threat of severe thunderstorms. After listening in my sleep deprived, half awake state I decided that it did not pertain to the counties that I have a vested interest in. At 3:45 am the weather radio gave me a second chance to see if we were going to get in on the action. The massive crack of thunder just before the alarm told me that I should probably listen very attentively this time around. After watching an impressive lightning stobe light show in the room for about 15 min and some brief talk of our campers out and about and of course a trip downstairs to learn we were out of internet and TV Rebecca and I settled back in for a bit of child free sleep. Thankfully none of our sleeping babes awoke for any of the first round of chaos.

At 5am it really got exciting again. The weather had all passed by now. This was more of an inside storm, if you will. I awoke to a strange loud flapping noise or a strong fluttering sort of sound. I have heard it before while sleeping suspended between two trees in my cozy hammock. One morning on Sucia Island while guiding for AKT I learned I had set up shop for the night next to a hummingbird hangout. I awoke in the morning directly under his flight path which was actually pretty cool and not really any sort of bother. It is amazing when one can have that kind of experience while OUT in nature. The kind where once outside, it seems as though nature tries to get even closer, and more intimate. Well, this was no humming bird, and I was not outside. I shot up out of bed immediately and proclaimed, “oh, Sh#@ that’s a bat!

Rebecca was quite startled as we lay there and talked quickly about what to do. She said, “are you sure it was a bat?” Mind you by 5am, there is a hint of the new day sitting just outside the window so yes, I was able to make out the distinct wings pretty clearly. After all, humming birds don’t weasel their way inside houses all too often. She said it had hit her arm too. This thing had to go, FAST!

I got up and turned on the light. She thought she had seen where it landed. I could not see it anywhere after a careful inspection of the room. “What do we do now?” was the next logical question from Rebecca, a question that I really did not have an answer for. I thought, well, since the light is on, maybe it will stay hidden for awhile. Rebecca confidently states, “well I can’t sleep in here” and as we talked a bit more about what to do my decision was made up for me. Out of seemingly nowhere the little bugger comes flying through the air. Rebecca, being a pretty strong woman, and not afraid of much let’s out a pretty loud scream of “Jeff there he is again” and heads towards the door. I yell to close the door and there we are, just the intruder and me.

From outside the door, it must of sounded as though I was taking on some thug in a back alley somewhere. The loud smacks that she heard was the empty laundry basket striking the end table and the floor as I tried to trap the thug. Of course, this plan(not a well thought out one) had a few holes, literally. As soon as I landed it on the thing’s head I realized the beast was far smaller than the holes in the basket. It was one of those thoughts that you have where you know something is going to go wrong and then it goes wrong just as you are standing there thinking, “wow this is going to go really wrong.” So, he craws out through the handle and resumes his sporadic flight around my room. But then, something happens, he settles into a pretty consistent circular pattern. By now I am definitely alert and thinking very clearly, so I quickly flip the laundry basket around and decide to use the flat bottom as a sort of “bat” bat if you will. It takes a few swings but I watch as he comes around the circle and swing hard. I make contact and he flies about ten feet into the wall and lands directly below on the floor between my dresser and wall. Meanwhile, I stand there, heart pounding with sweat beading up on my forehead and wonder “how resilient is this guy? Is he going to get back up and keep flying?” Surely he took a pretty good smack twice, once from the “bat” and once from the wall. The trouble was that he lay in a pretty small gap. I did what I could to reach a pair of shorts in and cover him up and proceeded to pull on the dresser just enough to widen the gap. Just as I slid out the dresser the cries of babies could be heard, first one and then the other. And so, the morning goes.