Storms and Whispers
Good evening to you. This evenings writing comes to you from a location I have never written from before. I lay here swaying in the hammock as the cacophony of crickets chirps away in the darkness. It is a beautiful evening.
My lack of writing as of late is not due to a lack of things to talk about. Just the opposite is the case. It is simply a function of not having enough time, energy or mind power to put coherent thoughts together. I am hoping that the new scenery will afford me an opportunity to piece together some sensible thoughts. Bear with me please.
Due to the way our weekend worked out we chose the "divide and conquer" plan for attending mass this weekend. That afforded me an opportunity to do something that rarely, if ever happens. I went to mass solo this morning at 8am. The drive to and fro and the quiet hour of prayer and reflection during mass left me with so many thoughts to share.
Actually the readings really spoke to me. Allow me to explain. In the first reading we find Elijah up on Mt. Horeb seeking shelter in a cave until he hears from the Lord. The Lord tells him to go outside and stand before the Lord because He will be passing by. So, while he stands outside waiting, he encounters strong winds, an earthquake, and even fire but the as the reading tells us the Lord was not in any of these things. So, where was He you might ask? It was not until these formidable events had passed that there was a "whispering sound" and that was where the Lord was to be found. (1Kings19:9a, 11-13a)
The question becomes, what is God whispering to me and am I quiet enough to listen? I'll get to that but first, I want to quickly visit the Gospel which is a story I am sure many are familiar with. The disciples are a few miles off shore in their boat being tossed about by stormy waves when Jesus decides to walk on out to join them. Yeah, that's right he didn't even need a boat. This is one of many times we hear Him tell the scared disciples, those ever comforting words, "do not be afraid."
Ok, so where am I going with all of this. As many of you know, I can eat again! What a joy! Actually it has been a few days so you might be asking yourself why hasn't he said more about this sooner? It's funny, not eating some days felt like being in a small boat tossed about by waves. There were definitely some stormy days. But then, just like that, the seas calm down and once again life is as it should be. We just need trust. We need to reach out to God and say "Save me!" just like Peter. And He will calm the storms in our lives.
As I left for Church today it was rainy and along the twelve minute drive the weather deteriorated as I travelled south. It looked pretty grey and stormy. By the time I walked out of Church with the classic song, Sing to the Mountains still ringing in my head the sun was shining and the day looked terrific. I had nearly forgotten how ominous it looked just an hour before. That is sort of how this whole "i can't put anything in my mouth ordeal" has gone. The storm has passed! Initially, coming off of Chemo I am left with a pretty unpleasant taste in my mouth so even though I could consume food, nothing was too exciting. That taste has left me so food is starting to get more exciting.
I am not sure I have accomplished what I set out to do. Whether or not I have, I suppose I kept you away from whatever it is you should be doing for long enough. I have many more things I would like to talk of. I will give you just a glance at them below.
"Chemo Brain" The fact that Chemo affects a persons ability to think clearly, multi task, remember things or even think clearly...( I think I already mentioned that one) Yup! I've got it.
Egg Sandwiches, I love 'em. They ratio of "ease factor to enjoyment factor" is extremely high. Especially when crafted on fresh Asiago bagels from the market!
The question "Why?" I ask, Why does it flow from a 2 and a half year old's mouth so freely and frequently?
The song Swing Low Sweet Chariot, how it takes me back to Sacred Heart retreat camp in Big Bear, CA and how precious it is to hear Andrew sing it while playing with his trains
The idea of the over ambitious parent. We get all these ideas of things that would be fun to do and then we realize, "wait a second we have three kiddos under the age of three, this idea is preposterous. "
Everyone, yes everyone, has a story. There is so much we don't know about what people have going on in their lives. Although difficult to do, do we aim to assume the best in all whom we meet and do we strive to get to know their story?
Well folks, thanks for checkin in. For those of you looking for of the nuts and bolts of how I am feeling and where I am at...Chemo is half way done. No, sweets don't taste good, my fingers are swolen for some unknown reason and the tube is hopefully coming out this week which is a darn good thing because it seems to be getting pretty painful.
My lack of writing as of late is not due to a lack of things to talk about. Just the opposite is the case. It is simply a function of not having enough time, energy or mind power to put coherent thoughts together. I am hoping that the new scenery will afford me an opportunity to piece together some sensible thoughts. Bear with me please.
Due to the way our weekend worked out we chose the "divide and conquer" plan for attending mass this weekend. That afforded me an opportunity to do something that rarely, if ever happens. I went to mass solo this morning at 8am. The drive to and fro and the quiet hour of prayer and reflection during mass left me with so many thoughts to share.
Actually the readings really spoke to me. Allow me to explain. In the first reading we find Elijah up on Mt. Horeb seeking shelter in a cave until he hears from the Lord. The Lord tells him to go outside and stand before the Lord because He will be passing by. So, while he stands outside waiting, he encounters strong winds, an earthquake, and even fire but the as the reading tells us the Lord was not in any of these things. So, where was He you might ask? It was not until these formidable events had passed that there was a "whispering sound" and that was where the Lord was to be found. (1Kings19:9a, 11-13a)
The question becomes, what is God whispering to me and am I quiet enough to listen? I'll get to that but first, I want to quickly visit the Gospel which is a story I am sure many are familiar with. The disciples are a few miles off shore in their boat being tossed about by stormy waves when Jesus decides to walk on out to join them. Yeah, that's right he didn't even need a boat. This is one of many times we hear Him tell the scared disciples, those ever comforting words, "do not be afraid."
Ok, so where am I going with all of this. As many of you know, I can eat again! What a joy! Actually it has been a few days so you might be asking yourself why hasn't he said more about this sooner? It's funny, not eating some days felt like being in a small boat tossed about by waves. There were definitely some stormy days. But then, just like that, the seas calm down and once again life is as it should be. We just need trust. We need to reach out to God and say "Save me!" just like Peter. And He will calm the storms in our lives.
As I left for Church today it was rainy and along the twelve minute drive the weather deteriorated as I travelled south. It looked pretty grey and stormy. By the time I walked out of Church with the classic song, Sing to the Mountains still ringing in my head the sun was shining and the day looked terrific. I had nearly forgotten how ominous it looked just an hour before. That is sort of how this whole "i can't put anything in my mouth ordeal" has gone. The storm has passed! Initially, coming off of Chemo I am left with a pretty unpleasant taste in my mouth so even though I could consume food, nothing was too exciting. That taste has left me so food is starting to get more exciting.
I am not sure I have accomplished what I set out to do. Whether or not I have, I suppose I kept you away from whatever it is you should be doing for long enough. I have many more things I would like to talk of. I will give you just a glance at them below.
"Chemo Brain" The fact that Chemo affects a persons ability to think clearly, multi task, remember things or even think clearly...( I think I already mentioned that one) Yup! I've got it.
Egg Sandwiches, I love 'em. They ratio of "ease factor to enjoyment factor" is extremely high. Especially when crafted on fresh Asiago bagels from the market!
The question "Why?" I ask, Why does it flow from a 2 and a half year old's mouth so freely and frequently?
The song Swing Low Sweet Chariot, how it takes me back to Sacred Heart retreat camp in Big Bear, CA and how precious it is to hear Andrew sing it while playing with his trains
The idea of the over ambitious parent. We get all these ideas of things that would be fun to do and then we realize, "wait a second we have three kiddos under the age of three, this idea is preposterous. "
Everyone, yes everyone, has a story. There is so much we don't know about what people have going on in their lives. Although difficult to do, do we aim to assume the best in all whom we meet and do we strive to get to know their story?
Well folks, thanks for checkin in. For those of you looking for of the nuts and bolts of how I am feeling and where I am at...Chemo is half way done. No, sweets don't taste good, my fingers are swolen for some unknown reason and the tube is hopefully coming out this week which is a darn good thing because it seems to be getting pretty painful.
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